Now you claim to be happy. Because she wrote, By following my heart, my ex-husband suddenly became free to discover his own true love. more than likely she will be the one spending the rest of her days alone and heartbroken because of the devastation she created. WebBy Leslie Cane: I often hear from wives who hope that one day, their husband is going to regret leaving them. Share your experience in the comments below. To live for Love & integrity. You left your husband, father of your children who share his love 19 years with you, who was 19 years ago was a young man and had a lot of choosing to marry and comparison options with you but he chose you and shared his love with you, he preferred to not comprise someone with you and 19 years shared his life in younghood with you till now. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! I remember practicing a mini speech, peppered with words to cushion the blow. What role do womens minds and ability to think for themselves play? ", "She listened, and she found me interesting. I could be wrong regarding your friend because every situation is different and I dont know all the details! Keeping this secret was not helping anyone. Finally, I had put her first. The affair cost me trust and love, and it caused the destruction of my marriage. About July I asked my husband to move out. I returned to mychildhood hobbies that I had put on holdfor the sake of the marriage. ", "He was recently divorced and starting over. I was miserable and my wife knew it. So, when push comes to shove, you dont know what youre talking/typing about. If so, is it not unwise to keep such things from a relationship? Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. So I cheated, my husband found out, and we divorced. I just want to know if I can become a better person and help my kids and even get my life back on track. And it was too late to redeem my villainy. Absolutely. People would bring to fore their true nature when you end an unhappy marriage. And, it becomes the wrong choice OFTEN! He divorced me, and I regret it every day. Either way, you really need to work on being less self involved. Loyal partner has previlage on either to walk out of the relationship or to forgive the cheater. You left your marriage to chase happiness, but happiness must exist inside of you and must be built within a relationship! I guess that's make the two of us. "I wanted a divorce he begged for a second chance and I broke his heart it hurts me every time I think about it" stop blaming urself, you're a hoe he's a weak, I spit on men like that, he should have beat you and kick your lover's ass. Six months since I left him for another man. To me, opposed to giving good advice or a testament to what typically occurs post-divorce, this article is more of her attempt to prove to herself that she made the correct choice, overcame, has learned from her experience, and is a better & wiser person today. Six months that I have been experiencing the utmost happiness, while also experiencing the most gut-wrenching guilt. She has destroyed me so instead of seeking forgiveness for yourself seek happiness for your kids and ex husband as they deserve it and i sincerely hope yourself, my wife and anyone else that has done this rot in hell. "we went to his house and I began a three year long affair" and ur husband never knew for 3 years ? "text": "People would bring to fore their true nature when you end an unhappy marriage. What will I do after I leave an unhappy marriage? Additionally, if this was truly a great decision for her life, few life-altering lessons would have been learned in the process. I hope he meets/met someone who is worth his time and isn't a shitty self centered person like yourself. Our kids deserve and need their dads to be strong. The only way to stop some of the hurt is to apologize to those you hurt so deeply with your selfishness good luck and never betray another person again. It is neither. Shattered the heart of someone who loved you. They dont tell you that. You can not change history and all your wrong doings will haunt you forever. Don't forget to bring a plush pillow with you. I think youre a coward because you havent accepted responsibility for your actions and your own selfishness. You are self-centered and selfish. Your husband should never forgive you for the immoral thing you did. }, Katie Sullivan is a divorced woman and a working mama of three children. Custody; Yet, at the same time, if I didn't have the affair, I may not have realized how miserable I was. Rating: +99|-86, When I met my husband he was the nicest person in the world to me. I friended him, and I was immediately flooded with the feelings I had for him when we were teens. It was the best and worst moment of my life. Your divorce story lacks substance and no facts as to WHAT really happened. Life has taught me that you cant control someones loyalty. We both went on to marry and start families with other people. I immediately felt 16 again. Stop seeing men. I dont know when my heart began to look away. The woman Id promised my love, life and loyalty to. ", "We laughed, we touched, we cared about day-to-day things and were interested in each other's lives. She may not regret leaving, but it appears to me anyways, that she regrets not trying harder before leaving and perhaps, also how she handled her divorce (which is a guess as this is somewhat implied in her writing). Wow, this is one of the worst story of betrayal. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.. So now HE pays YOU alimony and child support. However, if your friend is truthful with you, I would guess she still thinks about what could have existed if she had made a different choice! ", "It made me realize that I need intimacy in a relationship, and if my husband isnt willing to make me happy, then its not worth staying. It was exciting and fun until I slipped up and was caught. I can say it didnt start as that. And again she has zero sympathy from me. She cheated on her husband a couple of times and it turns out he is a great, good looking, muscular guy. But I missed the comfort of an adult companion, one I could share my everyday with. That was 10 years ago. I can only hope that someday before I die, the most honest and kind woman in the world will be able to once again believe me when I say, 'I love you. You comprosed your boss with him and for a feeling left your husband, right now you are comprising your boss with your husband and you feel that your husband more respect you so you prefer to come back to your husband, of next month your husband will lose his job, you will comprise him with a new boss and you will leave him again for job or something else. This is a completely lopsided statistic and thus, this statement is beyond contestation! "My regret is that I allowed a bad situation to go on too long," divorce coach and divorcee herself Tara Eisenhard told HuffPost. I need to tell you that I am sorry, so sorry. I realize I have been selfish and self serving and acted like a childish ass of an adult.. please giv Stop coming here and evangelizing and projecting your own situation off on to others. Best because I felt so much lighter having confessed. My OPINION (so I could be wrong), based on my 30 years of counseling, is that your friend is justifying & glorifying her ability to wake up and admit to herself she was not happy. Emboldened by this realization, she told herself there is so much more to life! and there is! My 'friend' got really possessive and told my wife. I love you I need you and I am so regretful of what I did to both,our lives. I tried for years to save my marriage, but I was the only one putting any effort in. A spouse should be a best friend and truth should come easily & openly, always! ABSOLUTELY NOT! Having a THREE YEAR affair with another person is NOT a mistake, it is your character. To be proud of oneself, forge a strong character, and be pleased with the choices weve made in life. However, she was also all emotion and wasnt rationally thinking about the consequences of her choices to come. Why did you leave ? },{ I was indeed surprised by the onesthat ultimately disappointed me. We were married for 9 years and had two kids ( they were 6 and 4) when my husband left to go on a trip for work. We have special peoplein our lives for a reason, a season, or forever. Decision. If he's resilient he'll get a better man and that's the best gift you could ever give him. I also lied to my mistress, hurting both her and her young kids. Thus, when we are told to follow our hearts, this advice means to follow the guidance of God! I am left all alone in a home I purchased for my family and I wake up every morning fighting through tears just to get myself out of bed because of the emotional condition my wife left me in. 2. I'm going through the same thing.but my wife is leaving me.and it hurts I luv her with all my heart.ive been married 19 years.i tell her every day I luv her,need her.i tell her she the most beautiful women in the world to me. To figure yourself out. I miss the way he would take care of me and be there for me. ", "Too many loved ones were hurt by our actions. I am sure she still cares about him! Made a father leave his home and children. Few had even asked for my version of the story.. You can look at faith and philosophy as just guidance! "acceptedAnswer": { Well another women looking for new c*ck! I am happy that both parties in this story are seemingly happy now, but this doesnt mean her choices were wise or she is without regrets. I knew that it was a mistake from the moment we kissed. Get over it, your daughter would do the same, maybe she'll understand why you did this, it's all about sex and I don't blame women for being walking vaginas, I only blame men for being so weak to let women rule them like some dogs. Leaving him is turning into my biggest regret. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally ", The only men willing to be responsible for that is the husband and you lost him. My wife and I barely spoke, never had sex, and barely even touched each other. I should thought this through Im so stupid. The entire point of such guidance is that, at times, especially vulnerable times, it is difficult to understand ourselves. I cheated and regret it, is a common afterthought among couples who are processing the consequences of their actions. I happily rediscovered my old interests like dancing, travel, and bubble baths.I rejoiced once again in the many gifts that set my soul on fire., { Often, these same wives will tell their husbands that leaving is a mistake that he will one day regret. I am sure she was in love with him for part of their relationship! You destroyed your husband's life, your children despise you for what you did to their father, your friends are upset because you're a damned bitch who don't respect the man who gave her everything, your best friend is maybe jealous cause you got everything a woman's want : an amazing husband ( = a weak man) to afford money, social protection for her and her children AND an alpha male to satisfy her natural (so justified) urges. Your husband is maybe a great man, but he's weak, and for his own sake he must get stronger, and only pain make one stronger. It has been six months since leaving my husband. A choice to end a marriage is not a choice that can be easily remedied if it becomes the wrong choice. Thank you! I wish I could take it all back. It is implied that she was not truthful with her husband because she was not truthful with herself! A healthy woman means a healthy family. We are cautious; neither of us makes false promises to leave our partners, and we don't keep in contact outside of work hours. Katie considers herself a beach worshipper, a photographer, a breastfeeding advocate, a provider for the sick, an amateur philosopher by her own definition, and a loving sister, daughter, friend, godmother, coworker, and educator. Great article. ", "When I left my spouse for the man I had an affair with, my son didn't talk to me for two years. Over the years, I have made note of the most common reasons someone may leave a relationship prematurely: 1. Sorry that just how life is. Sometimes, leaving is a good choice. Do you think communication & truth are important to a relationship? Some will comfort you emotionally, many will judge, and some will help you out financially. So when asked me to marry me I was so happy. I wont post again per your request, however, I was merely posting a response to what I read. Unfortunately I have met similar "women" like you. Life deserve to be lived . So what if after 4 years of marriage, my wife and I had spent barely a year together? ", "I regret absolutely nothing. My life has been pretty bad since then; my wife forgave me, but it will never be the same. registered trademarks of Ziff Davis Canada, Inc. and may not be used by third parties without I cheated and regret it, is a common afterthought among couples who are processing the consequences of their actions. Think of all the good things in life which create happiness & butterflies! It cost me the respect of my children, who, 10 years later, are just starting to trust me again. But life overall was good and so much better than it is now. Once I got the divorce I got full custody of the kids later I started to regret my disigion and now I wish I can take it all back. You do NOT love your husband because you cheated! When I was painfully honest with myself and my ex-husband, I bestowed upon him thegreatest gift. We fail to communicate. I wish the writer from the original post could learn from her experience as I do. "name": "How would people behave if I end an unhappy marriage? ", "Ten years ago, I had an affair on my wife of 20 years. Emotions kept inside will eventually influence the mind and ones perceptions about their life, relationship, and themselves! I already admitted I could be wrong because I dont know the circumstances of this situation. Women are worthless these days. But when I finally sat her down, words just flowed out. Perhaps she thinks she tried to tell her husband how she felt. He even told me this would happen To not have too many what ifs hanging over ones head. I assure you that my comments apply equally to both men & woman! Lessons to follow in life, deduced from observing what usually happens as a result of the choices we make! I enjoy making her happy. Eventually your ex will not be paying child support, will not be paying alimony, and you will be living in some trailer somewhere. Her husband has remarried and from all outward appearances is enjoying his life with his new wife.