They own you. ", "Here's all you need to know about men and women. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. 49. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away. ~ (George Carlin). Teach them to question what they read. by Libertarian Country 50. Who would've ever thought radical feminists would team up with religious zealots to usher in a new wave of censorship and control?Oh, if Carlin was still alive today. Best George Carlin Quotes. Religion. Why would he do that? If God created everything, hes got a serious quality control problem. ~ (George Carlin). And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. ~ (George Carlin). 77. ", "Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ~ (George Carlin). If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. Laugh until you gasp for breath. ", When we think of dictators, we think about other countries. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. ', and 'Here's all you As for the poor, they tell us theyve Because you have the most money? Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? The career of comedian George Carlin (19372008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962. It will not be with jack-boots. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. 10. Life is a series of dogs. ~ (George Carlin). ", "If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. When you die, it all stays here. They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. 135 Notable Oscar Wilde Quotes on Writing and Life, 105 Frederick Douglass Quotes on Progress & Freedom, 55 William Golding Quotes from Author of Lord of the Flies, 67 Salvador Dali Quotes From The Surreal Spanish Artist, 45 Tee Grizzley Quotes from the American Rapper, 32 Jean Toomer Quotes from American Poet & Novelist. Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ~ (George Carlin). Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. Deal with it. Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ~ (George Carlin). To change your comments display name, click here. I think that speaks for itself. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. ~ (George Carlin). A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. ~ (George Carlin). In America, anyone can become president. This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. 30. We think in language. Garbage out. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. 18. 41. 20. Everyone smiles in the same language. ~ (George Carlin). And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate. 48. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. In America, anyone can become president. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). 114. 74. 19. April 27, 2023, by Libertarian Country And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ (George Carlin). Continue with Recommended Cookies. No contest. You know what they are? Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Teach them to question everything. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? ~ (George Carlin). Others see it half empty. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Golfer Tattoos His Dads Advice on His Arm How Those Last Words Help Him Focus, Time Flies: 29 Couples and Families That Mastered the Art of Recreating Old Photos, This Couple Bought and Revamped an Abandoned Laundromat Now Its a Thriving Community Hub With Free Laundry Days, Woman Buys 3-Year-Old a New Bike After She Finds Out His Was Stolen Only Later Does Everyone Find Out Her Real Story. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. I just dont have as many people who believe it., "I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. They should be giving their money to you. ~ (George Carlin). If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Here, we bring you 27 of the best George Carlin quotes of all time. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. The quote continues: "They own all the important land. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. ~ (George Carlin). Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~ (George Carlin). We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason. ~ (George Carlin). I dont vote. It's important in life if you don't give a shit. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. George Carlin quotes about politics. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ~ (George Carlin). Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. 2. If youre born in America you get a front row seat. ~ (George Carlin). 116. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both f***ed. 9. Religion is like a pair of shoes. 42. Posted at 11:33 am on May 22, 2022 by FoundersGirl. Carlin is a philosopherwho follows logicTo claim he is left or right is obtuse. Every religion is by all means to be respected but the role of the Churches is debatable. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. Be happy with what youve got. People are dreaming if they think they have rights. 109. The challenge is to find it. For Exclusive Deals, New Product Alerts, Free Articles, Libertarian News & More! Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. 2. Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. And the main reason women are crazy is that Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. ", "Did you ever notice who it is? 24. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, Monday Motivation: 36 Powerful Quotes to Jump-Start the Beginning of Your Week, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. 10. George Carlin, in full George Denis Patrick Carlin, (born May 12, 1937, New York, N.Y., U.S.died June 22, 2008, Santa Monica, Calif.), American comedian whose Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television routine led to a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that gave the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) the right to determine when to Tweet. If he were working today theyd call him a right-wing conspiracy theorist. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. The future will soon be a thing of the past. This is the best we can do folks. Why isn't selling fucking legal?". Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Toothpicks? ~ (George Carlin). Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. ~ (George Carlin). If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Results like these do not belong on the rsum of a Supreme Being. The planet is fine. Just a friendly reminder that George Carlin would despise and verbally disembowel the vast majority of pundits, public figures, and random idiots currently heaping praise on him because it's trendy. We think in language. I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol minded. ~ (George Carlin). WebBest George Carlin Quotes 1. Read these quotes to gracefully enhance your views about it and make you reflect upon the essence of human spirituality! And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. I dont have a fear of heights. They [Catholic teachers] would fall back on, Well, its a mystery.[2]. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. 95. Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountains majesty above the asphalt plain. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. ~ (George Carlin). Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. If you love someone, set them free. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Carlin was a cool guy; he wasn't racist, sexist, homophobic, or any other buzzword insult the P.C. No contest. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Lean and mean! - George Carlin International Dance Day 2023: Wishes and Messages for the occasion I dont get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. An early crusader against academic fascism, George Carlin fought political correctness long before it took root, foreseeing its regressive tendencies and propensity to become neo-puritanism.For decades, progressives and liberals resonated with Carlin--they were his base. 120. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. ", If you can't beat them, arrange to havethem beaten., Laugh often, long, and loud. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. 5. They own everything," the quote reads. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. All rights reserved. 56. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? Last Updated: 29th April, 2023 14:09 IST International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp Messages, Wishes, Greetings, Quotes To Share Celebrate International Dance Day 2023 on April 29 by sending WhatsApp messages, wishes, greetings and quotes to those whose passion is dancing. The quote continues: "They own all the important land. 11. Well, we know what they want: They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.". Praise for George Carlin's social and political criticisms and his contributions to a In this George Carlin quote, Carlin was talking about the saying there is no I in team. Quotes from the late comedian and social critic, George Carlin, often surface in the political arena of social media. This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. 92. If you think too much, they'll take you away. The planet is fine. If someone understands, good. ago Close joke from Blackadder that might predate this. The people are fucked.. You May Also Like:80 Woody Allen Quotes About Missing Your Own Funeral and Other Life Stories60+ Edgar Allan Poe Quotes to Take You on a Mystery Ride51 Elvis Presley Quotes About the Essence of Life and Rock n Roll, Harvey Bernard Milk (1930-1978) was one of the first openly gay elected officials in the United States. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. If youre born in America you get a front row seat. 68. 14. 63. I respect animals. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ~ (George Carlin). Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Laugh until you gasp for breath. ~ (George Carlin). You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. ~ (George Carlin). WebNov 15, 2014 - Explore Boopsie's board "George Carlin:::Political quotes:::::" on Pinterest. It creates a hostile work environment. They want it back, so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. Two reasons I dont vote: first of all, its meaningless. And theyre elected by American citizens. Laugh often, long and loud. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. Here's one for the ladies, "Nary-A-Carry"! Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ~ (George Carlin). Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. [5], Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest.